We're Going on a Ianto Hunt!
by fi3fi3
Summary: Madness! Jack is playing a new version of naked hide and seek and he inlists the help of the rest of the team, who find his song amusing. Rated for Jack hinting at naughty things! Janto, with a bit of Tosh/Owen if you squint.


**A/N - Ok, this is mad. The plot bunny hopped into my head but, as the idea made me laugh, I didn't mind writing it down for him. The rhyme doesn't belong to me - well the original anyway. It's called 'We're going on a bear hunt' but Jack adapted it a little (as you can probably guess by the title!)**

**Hope you like and as always, Torchwood doesnt belong to me and it never will, sad as that is to accept.**

**Enjoy!**

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Jack was steeling through the Hub. What he loved about playing hide and seek (apart from playing it naked) was that there were so many different versions and it could be adapted so easily. Jack was enjoying his 'seeking' (despite having all of his clothes _on_) as an old children's nursery rhyme had occurred to him and he was saying it to himself.

_**We're going on a Ianto hunt,  
**__**We're going to catch a big one,  
**__**I'm not scared,  
**__**He'll take it up the…**_

Okay, so he had changed the lyrics slightly. And added the last line completely, but the point was that Jack was enjoying himself.

Jack decided to look in the hothouse, still repeating the rhyme to himself, occasionally adding bits whenever he felt like it. 'Well I've changed it so much it's practically mine anyway' he thought.

'Oh look! Who's that hiding behind the plant? It's Tosh!'

"What are you doing Tosh?" Jack asked with a glint in his eye, he had a plan.

Tosh looked up, her face displayed partial annoyance at being disturbed and partial intrigue into what her boss was doing wandering around the Hub chanting to himself. "Oh, you know, just measuring the veins on these leaves and cross-referencing it with the different species of plant we have in here, I know technically it's Owen's job but I thought I'd save time. What are you doing Jack?"

He smiled, "I'm going on a Ianto hunt! Do you want to come? All you have to do is follow along behind me and repeat back what I say!"

Tosh looked at him with concern, "Are you sure you're alright Jack? Not ill or anything?"

Jack pouted at her, "Please Tosh – it'll be fun!"

"Alright, just for a little while then, I could do with something completely crazy going on – something other than the usual aliens and normal work."

Jack smiled, turned on his heel and marched off, Tosh following with a slight sense of dread.

_**We're going on a Ianto hunt**__,_ Tosh began to repeat hesitantly.  
_We're going on a Ianto hunt,  
__**We're going to catch a big one,  
**__We're going to catch a big one,  
__**I'm not scared,  
**__I'm not scared,  
__**He'll take it up the…  
**_"Jack!"

Despite her exclamation Tosh was in fits of laughter by this point. As laughter was infectious, (and Jack was probably slightly drunk) he was in stitches as well. And that is how Owen came across them, clutching their stomachs in the boardroom.

"What on Earth and any other planet in the known universe are you doing?"

This sent Tosh into more fits of giggles whereas Jack stood up seriously and said, "We're going on a Ianto hunt, want to come along?"

Owen was attempting to look sneering but was actually quite taken with the idea of hanging around with Tosh while she was in such a relaxed mood.

"Oh go on then, since Tosh is doing it and god knows we need some fun round here – anyone got a beer?"

Jack looked around before drawing a bottle seemingly out of nowhere and handing it to Owen with a look as if to say 'tell no one'.

Tosh explained the 'game' in the same time it took for Owen's beer to become 'half drunk' and consequently he was instantly in a better mood and agreed to repeat after Jack as the marched through the Hub in search for Ianto.

_**We're going on a Ianto hunt,  
**__We're going on a Ianto hunt,  
__We're going on a Ianto hunt,  
__**We're going to catch a big one,  
**__We're going to catch a big one,  
__We're going to catch a big one,  
__**I'm not scared,  
**__I'm not scared,  
__I'm not scared,  
__**He'll take it up the...**_

"Jack? Tosh? Owen? What are you doing?" Gwen met them at the entrance to the archives.

Tosh and Owen were giggling together, mostly about the suspected ending to the fourth line but also because of the indignant look on Jack's face about not being able to finish his rhyme _yet again_!

"We're going on a Ianto hunt…" started Jack before Gwen interrupted,

"I gathered that from your song _boss_, please may I look too? I don't want to be left out" She pouted at Jack who looked for a moment that he was going to say 'no' before he broke out into a smile.

"The more the merrier! Just repeat after me, Tosh and Owen, You'll pick it up"

Gwen nodded and joined the line that snaked it's way up to the tourist office.

_**We're going on a Ianto hunt,  
**__We're going on a Ianto hunt,  
__We're going on a Ianto hunt,  
__We're going on a Ianto hunt,  
__**We're going to catch a big one,  
**__We're going to catch a big one,  
__We're going to catch a big one,  
__We're going to catch a big one,  
__**I'm not scared,  
**__I'm not scared,  
__I'm not scared,  
__I'm not scared,  
__**He'll take it up the…**_

"I'm not sure that's a promise Jack!" laughed Ianto who was revealed when Jack flung open the door to the stationary cupboard.

Behind him, Tosh and Gwen burst into excited giggles while Owen pretended to faint in mock-horror. Ianto was obviously still playing the _naked _version of hide and seek.

"Wow Ianto," started Tosh, surprising everyone, "When Jack said we were going to 'catch a big one' I didn't realise he meant that big!"

That's when some diplomats working with UNIT and Torchwood decided to walk in.

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**A/N - Please review, reviews are nice and do wonders for the Non-ownership-of-Torchwood depression!**


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